Melania Trump Is A Russian Spy & Husband Donald Is Cultivated Asset! (Confirmed 100% Factual)

Ordinarily I'd view a rumor like this one with suspicion. But I read recently that calling a story "fake news" is a "nonsensical talking point". Everyone should determine for themselves if a news story is legit or not (I assume). How? I'm not sure, but I think that if the story confirms your biases that means it is likely true.

With that in mind, when I heard that Melania Trump is a Russian spy, I went to Google and looked for a story that confirmed what I felt in my gut could be true.

Could Donald Trump, stupid man that he is, be even more of a Russian puppet than he knows? Now, we're just spitballing here, but is there somebody very close to Trump, who happens to be from a former Eastern bloc country, who is VERY PRETTY in a Hot Dour Spy sort of way, and who could have access to the deepest bowels of the Trump empire? Yes, there is! Her name is Melania Knauss Trump, and if we were doing an international spy operation, she'd be the PERFECT person to send in and cultivate a gross dude like Trump as an asset. He spends his life groping his way around hot model ladies, and he'd never imagine a sexxxy Eastern European model might fall in love with him for any reason besides HE'S DONALD TRUMP, ANY QUESTIONS? (No, For Real, Though, Is Donald Trump A Russian Intelligence Asset? by Evan Hurst. Wonkette 11/1/2016).

There is also the fact that Melaina's father was a member of the Slovenian Communist Party. She is a Russian spy! It's all so obvious. All one has to do is connect the dots.

I also read that a former spy tells FBI that Russia cultivated Trump as an asset, provides evidence. According to the former spy, "there was an established exchange of information between the Trump campaign and the Kremlin of mutual benefit".

So, the homophobic religious bigot Pence will be prez when the Donald is prosecuted and convicted of treason, I assume? Unless Congressional Republicans decide they don't care. Which, so far, seems to be the case.

DSB #63

Is Joe Biden The Raddest VP Ever Or What?

This from the self-described "finest news source" in America.

WASHINGTON - Encouraging the group of visitors that he was showing around the Roosevelt Room to "fucking hightail it", vice president Joe Biden was reportedly stopped by "killjoy" Secret Service members Tuesday who moved quickly to shut down his unofficial White House tour. "I provide a legit service at a discount, unlike that rinky-dink official tour where you don't get to peep half as much cool-ass shit, but those glorified security guards had to go and put the kibosh on it", said Biden, who had reportedly been making some extra cash on the side by approaching groups of tourists waiting in line outside the White House and asking them if they wanted to see the "real deal", before sneaking ahead into the West Wing to check if the coast was clear. "The actual tour is a huge ripoff, but Diamond Joe's Ultimate Sightseeing Adventure shows you stuff that's not on any map. Listen, there's some shit that Barry doesn't even know is here, and I was letting people in on it for a totally reasonable price". (Secret Service Shuts Down Biden's Unofficial White House Tour Operation, The Onion).

Now, some people say that The Onion is a "fake news" site and that their articles are actually satire. But other people say that it's intellectually bereft to parrot mainstream media buzz-words like "fake news".

You wanna be intellectually bereft? Not me. Which is I came to the conclusion that these fascists are trying to crush dissent and squash free-speech. Heck, even in the halls of Congress they seem to be hearkening back to the not so subtle fascism of tyrants such as Adams, Lincoln, and Wilson (something called the Countering Disinformation and Propaganda Act). We need to stop this shit and, yes, stay vigilant. Because you know that they will for sure.

Anyway, I say Joe Biden rocks. If this story is true, that is. Which I think it is. Because it SOUNDS like something Joe Biden (the coolest VP ever) would do. Also, there is photographic evidence (see below). In any case, do you think we should we leave it to Google, Verizon, Cable News, and Mark Zuckerberg to determine what is "fake news"? Hell no! Enough with the memorized nonsensical talking points!

DSB #62

Garrison Keillor On Trump & Republicans

Two excerpts from recent articles by author Garrison Keillor that remind me why I like him so much (I've always been a fan of A Prairie Home Companion).

Raw ego and proud illiteracy have won out, and a severely learning-disabled man with a real character problem will be president. Alas for the Trump voters, the disasters he will bring on this country will fall more heavily on them than anyone else. The uneducated white males who elected him are the vulnerable ones, and they will not like what happens next. ...the damage he will do to our country — who knows? His supporters voted for change, and boy, are they going to get it. (Trump voters will not like what happens next. The Washington Post 11/9/2016). He will never be my president... I don't see anything admirable or honorable about him. This sets him apart from other politicians. (How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. The Washington Post 11/15/2016).

#notmypresident #republicanssuck SWTD#donaldtrump SWTD#notmypresident

DSB #61