Larry Flynt Offers A Team Of Doctors To Conduct An Examination Of Trump's Package To "Confirm His Boast"

"He referred to my hands, if they're small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee it" Trump said in response to a comment by Marco Rubio in which he implied that Trump's weiner was small (this statement by Trump from the 11th gop debate on 3/2016 in Detroit MI).

"Boasting" is how Larry Flynt perceived Trump's comments, and now he (as well as several other groups) want to "document" Donald's size.

Late last week, Hustler founder Larry Flynt was said to have issued an open letter to Trump offering "a team of doctors ready today to conduct the examination required to confirm your boast", according to the Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas. ...adult toy and novelty maker Pipedream Products chimed in, inviting the Republican front-runner to have his member molded [and] the Erotic Heritage Museum, a five-minute walk from Trump International in Las Vegas, said it wants to display that cast. (Las Vegas sex museum seeks donation from Trump by Wesley Juh. Las Vegas Review Journal 3/7/2016).

OK, so there is probably a zero chance that Trump will acquiesce to any of these request, and those making them likely know it, but that they have is pretty funny.

This reminds me of when Flynt derailed the speakership of Republican Robert Livingston. When the gop controlled House threatened to impeach Bill Clinton for receiving a Lewinsky, Flynt offered a million dollar reward for proof that any Repub member of Congress cheated on their wife. Which resulted in Livingston admitting an affair and resigning.

But back to the funny - according to Stephen Colbert the situation with Trump is even worse than what happened during the Lincoln/Douglas debates, when Lincoln said the following.

Abraham Lincoln, 10/15/1858: No American, whether they be from North or South, free or slave, has ever complained about the size of my Lincoln log. And yes, the beard matches the drapes. (The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, 3/7/2016).

10/15/1858 was the date that the last (of 7) of the debates between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas took place (in Alton IL). Abe lost that election to the Illinois senate, btw. Here's hoping that the upcoming presidential election's results are similar. With Trump losing, that is. And/or with the Republican losing (if the nominee somehow isn't Trump).

Image: "He's always calling me Little Marco. And I'll admit he's taller than me. He's like 6'2, which is why I don't understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5'2", said the soon to drop out out Rubio.

SWTD Tags: 2016 Election, Donald Trump.

DSB #40

Donald Trump Prenup With Wife Melanoma Says If She Poops Or Farts She Gets Nothing In Divorce

Actually Donald's prenup doesn't say this, that is a joke Carlos Alazraqui made on the 3/9/2016 airing of the Stephanie Miller Show in reaction to John Melendez bringing up a REAL story concerning Trump's claim that his wife Melania (not melanoma) does not poop or fart. Seriously.

The following from a 2003 Howard Stern interview (edited, see full interview video below).

Trump: Howard let me just ask you. You said something a while ago about Beth that amazed me because it applies to Melania. You said you've never seen her do anything, like, bad, in terms of her own personal. ... You said you've never heard her fart. Stern: Not only is that true, she doesn't make doody. She hasn't made doody... Trump: I can say the exact same thing about Melania. ... I've never seen any of that. Stern: You're probably expecting a big one this year, though. Trump: Maybe they save that for after marriage. Beth and Melania, maybe they save it for after marriage. (Donald Trump claims his wife doesn't poop or fart by Stefan Sirucek. 2/24/2016).

This explains Trump's comment about Hillary Clinton taking a bathroom break during the 3rd debate being "too disgusting" to talk about... he thinks women's bodies process waste differently than men's bodies do.

Even though, according to Oddee's Fart Facts "people pass gas about 14 times per day [with] the average person producing about half a liter of farts every single day... and even though many women won't admit it, women do fart just as often as men".

I guess you could say that Donald Trump is a dumbsh*t. In this case he's a dumbsh*t regarding women sh*tting... as well as tooting.

Video1: Donald Trump and Howard Stern discuss the "fact" that neither of their wives poop or fart... as far as they know (Trump sez "I've never seen any of that"). Fast forward to the 7 minute mark for the exchange (19:03). Update, 10/26/2016: Sirius whined to YouTube and had the video removed, although the relevant part can be viewed as attached to a 2/16/2016 BuzzFeed article, Trump Isn't Into Anal, Melania Never Poops, And Other Things He Told Howard Stern. (Note: the video, as presented on BuzzFeed has no embed option. I looked at the html in an attempt to find it, but no luck. So you'll have to follow the link to view it).

Video2: Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump remarked on Democratic presidential contender Hillary Clinton's brief absence from the debate stage on Dec. 19 saying, "Where did she go? I thought she quit".

SWTD Tags: 2016 Election, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton.

DSB #39

Kiss-up Kick-down Christy Trump Endorsement (Thom Hartmann Rant #8)

The following is an excerpt from the Thom Hartmann Radio Program, 3/2/2016, which I edited for brevity and clarity. Thom discusses the endorsement of Donald Trump by Chris Christie.

Thom: My take on Chris Christie? I have known, in business over the years, a number of people that I refer to "kiss-up kick-down people". They are people who, [in regards to] their bosses and their supervisors, they're unctuous. They kiss-up to them, they're "oh, you're so wonderful". The people below them they treat like absolute crap. They kiss-up, and they kick-down. I think Chris Christie is that kind of person. I think he created that culture in his gubernatorial administration and that's why the whole Bridgegate thing happened. I think now that Donald Trump is the big dog, so Chris Christie is kissing up. It's a terrible character flaw and it's disappointing.

Yeah, I think that sounds right. The bully Christie got whipped, so now he's eager to kiss-up to bully who beat him. Being a toady for, and getting to share the spotlight with Trump is better than nothing. And Christie doesn't appear that interested in governing NJ, what with his spending 55% of 2015 outside of the state (Travelin' guv: Christie's been out of NJ 5 out of every 9 days, NJ.com).

And there could be something in it for Christie, according to Nate Silver's FiveThirtyEight blog.

Vice President Christie or Attorney General Christie ain't all that far-fetched. Christie also replicates many of Trump's weaknesses, however. Like Trump, Christie is very unpopular with general election voters. Like Trump, he has been accused of cronyism and corruption. Like Trump, he can come across as a bully. So Rubio and Ted Cruz won't have to change their messaging all that much. ...the Christie endorsement... once again proves how easily Trump can control the news cycle. Christie, long a favorite subject of political reporters, will also be an effective surrogate for Trump. (Christie's Endorsement Of Trump Totally Makes Sense).

Unfortunately for Christie, toadies get kicked down and treated like crap by their bully masters. After his endorsement, Christie was expecting to stick around. "I'm with the winner" was likely what he was thinking, and he was looking forward to receiving any congradulations that might be coming his way (for the "wisdom" of jumping on the Trump train).

But Trump, in typical bully fashion, put his toady in his place and told Christie to get lost (not wanting anyone to horn in on the adulation the crowd was showering him with). "Get on the plane and go home" Trump informed the surprised and dejected apple polisher. And so Christie slunk away, embarassed.

Or, that's the interpretation of some (including myself). RealClearPolitics says "it appeared that Trump was dismissing Christie [but he was actually] thanking him and giving him a free plane ride back to New Jersey".

Free plane ride, huh? Maybe. That isn't as funny as the first interpretation, though.

Video: The Young Turks discuss Trump's dismisal of his toady Christie (3:32).

See also: The real reason Christie endorsed Trump: NJ governor, 53, was infuriated by patronizing Rubio, 44, phone call telling him he had a "bright future in public service". The Daily Mail 2/28/2016.

SWTD Tags: 2016 Election, Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Thom Hartmann.

DSB #38