Donald Trump Absolutely Is Hitler Reincarnated (154 Percent Certain)

You may be inclined to not believe me, but I think it's possible that Donald J. Trump might be Adolf Hitler reincarnated. Fact is, I Googled "Donald Trump Hitler Reincarnated" and RESULTS WERE RETURNED!! 70,900 results in 0.64 seconds, to be precise. And most of them said YES, Donald Trump IS Hitler reincarnated. The "evidence is damning" the very first result says. So there you go, proof positive that people are saying Trump is Hitler reincarnated. And based on "evidence" (as per the first Google result).

"No one wants to admit it but facts are facts" the opening sentence of the article says. Let that sink in for a minute. Facts Are Facts. Donald Trump IS Hitler reincarnated.

[A story in] the Philly Daily News... draws comparisons between... Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler. Trump was asked on CNN's "New Day" whether or not this comparison bothered him at all. Trump's response was a simple and emphatic, "No". ...digging just a bit deeper, what Trump was really trying to communicate with his "no" becomes shockingly clear: Trump was not bothered by this comparison to Hitler because he is Hitler reincarnated into a new, and even more terrifying, form. Why else would such a normally outspoken man, a man running for president of The United States no less, have absolutely no comment when compared to the most vilified figure in human history? (Is Donald Trump Hitler Reincarnated? The Evidence Is Damning by Joe Durbin. Carbonated TV).

Carbonated TV says "from the serious to the hilarious, we bring you stories that matter". So, would the "Trump is Hitler Reincarnated" story be an example of "the hilarious"? Clearly, NO. I mean, just look at the evidence the remainder of the story lays out and you, like me, will surely be convinced that Trump is Hitler back from the grave for another go-round at world domination.

For the record, I paged down to the bottom of the article and noticed that the article is tagged as "satire". Other tags include "humor" and "insane". However, as everyone knows, if satire is your goal, the writer needs to be crystal clear about it. A LARGE disclaimer before the "satire" beings that says "this is satire" (for example). And tags or lables at the end of a commentary do not count.

That is what a dumbass named Luke Spencer told me, in any case. And he was quite insistent about it. To claim "satire" by way of Labels or Tags is what Big Liars do. In order to walk back shit they don't want to stand by. Shit they absolutely meant seriously.

So Carbonated TV was being completely serious, as am I. In fact I take their assertion that Hitler has returned as Donald Trump 154 percent seriously. Your "serious percentage" might be higher or it might be lower, but it should NOT be below 100 unless you are a #trumpdupe. You're not a #trumpdupe, are you?

DSB #66

Donald Trump Not "Natural Born", Not A "Person" & Therefore Ineligible To Serve As POTUS

Someone posted a question on Quora that reads "Was Donald Trump really born in Zimbabwe?". What follows is an excerpt from the most up-voted answer.

Answer: I don't know for certain. But lately, lots of people are saying he was. The Celine Fnord Institute is currently funding a formal investigation. It's telling that, while he spent a good two years demanding Obama's birth certificate, we have asked and asked but Trump has never produced [his long form] birth certificate. Or his tax returns. Seems pretty fishy... what's he hiding? Ok, sure, Trump's trying to get off this by a technicality. Trump was born in 1946... perhaps in the British African state of Southern Rhodesia? They declared Independence as Rhodesia in 1965… Trump's folks would certainly have fled the end of white rule. The black nationals were using "Zimbabwe" in the early 60s... "Rhodesia" was a name derived from the name of British colonialist Cecil Rhodes. But now it's the independent state of Zimbabwe. Trump did say "If you have a date in Southern Rhodesia she'll be waiting in Zimbabwe" in season 5 of The Apprentice (Quora question answered by Dave Haynie).

Anyone can ask, and anyone can answer a question on Quora. Quora readers select the answer they like best and vote for it. Democracy in action, and in accordance with Stephen Colbert's "view that reality can be determined by consensus opinion".

"If a majority of people want something to be true, that thing therefore must become the truth" according to Colbert. This response, having received the most upvotes, is therefore obviously true. Although the question answer does say "I don't know for certain" although "lots of people are saying he was".

That is the KEY point, I believe. People are saying Trump was born in Zimbabwe. Josh Brown says he was. Masasi Hobho says Trump was born in Morgenster hospital in Masvingo, Zimbabwe.

If Barack Obama being born in Kenya made him ineligible to serve as POTUS (even though his mother was a United States citizen), then Donald Trump being born in Zimbabwe makes him ineligible. Even if his mother was a US citizen. Remember that Donald's father is an orangutan. Trump sued Bill Maher when he reveled this truth on air, but later dropped the matter (thereby admitting Maher was right).

Orangutans (as per Wikipedia) are the two exclusively Asian species of extant great apes... native to Indonesia and Malaysia". Zimbabwe is located in Southern Africa. My guess is that Donald Trump's was born in either Indonesia or Malaysia, then emigrated to Zimbabwe and later the United States. After marrying a human woman (Mary Anne Trump née MacLeod) with whom he fathered a human-orangutan hybrid they named Donald John.

Although Wikipedia notes that Frederick "Fred" Christ Trump was born in NY and his parents were born in Germany. The answer to this discrepancy? Obviously Fred Trump is not Donald's natural father. Maybe he believed he was (Mary Anne Trump fooled him into thinking Donald was his progeny) or maybe he conspired with his wife to hide Donald's true parentage.

In any case, the point is that, having been born in Zimbabwe, Trump is not eligible to serve as US president. Barack Obama, regardless of where he was born, served 2 full terms. However, while Barack Obama produced his Hawaiian birth certificate, Donald Trump has not. He (I believe) has thus far only released the short form and not the long form of his BC. Which, as you will recall, was not good enough when Obama did the same.

OBVIOUSLY Trump is not eligible. I mean, he is not even fully human! Surely I believe we can assume that the Founders intended only a 100% fully human individual to be eligible. That is in addition to being natural born and 35 years old (as per Article 2 of the US Constitution). Note that the Constitution uses the word "person", which dictionary.com defines as "a human being".

So, I think that Trump could be removed from office for not being a person (or fully a person) and for not being natural born. That's in addition to his wife Melania being a Russian spy (DSB #63).

DSB #65