Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Donald Trump Not "Natural Born", Not A "Person" & Therefore Ineligible To Serve As POTUS

Someone posted a question on Quora that reads "Was Donald Trump really born in Zimbabwe?". What follows is an excerpt from the most up-voted answer.

Answer: I don't know for certain. But lately, lots of people are saying he was. The Celine Fnord Institute is currently funding a formal investigation. It's telling that, while he spent a good two years demanding Obama's birth certificate, we have asked and asked but Trump has never produced [his long form] birth certificate. Or his tax returns. Seems pretty fishy... what's he hiding?

Ok, sure, Trump's trying to get off this by a technicality. Trump was born in 1946... perhaps in the British African state of Southern Rhodesia? They declared Independence as Rhodesia in 1965… Trump's folks would certainly have fled the end of white rule. The black nationals were using "Zimbabwe" in the early 60s... "Rhodesia" was a name derived from the name of British colonialist Cecil Rhodes. But now it's the independent state of Zimbabwe. Trump did say "If you have a date in Southern Rhodesia she'll be waiting in Zimbabwe" in season 5 of The Apprentice (Quora question answered by Dave Haynie).

Anyone can ask, and anyone can answer a question on Quora. Quora readers select the answer they like best and vote for it. Democracy in action, and in accordance with Stephen Colbert's "view that reality can be determined by consensus opinion".

"If a majority of people want something to be true, that thing therefore must become the truth" according to Colbert. This response, having received the most upvotes, is therefore obviously true. Although the question answer does say "I don't know for certain" although "lots of people are saying he was".

That is the KEY point, I believe. People are saying Trump was born in Zimbabwe. Josh Brown says he was. Masasi Hobho says Trump was born in Morgenster hospital in Masvingo, Zimbabwe.

If Barack Obama being born in Kenya made him ineligible to serve as POTUS (even though his mother was a United States citizen), then Donald Trump being born in Zimbabwe makes him ineligible. Even if his mother was a US citizen. Remember that Donald's father is an orangutan. Trump sued Bill Maher when he reveled this truth on air, but later dropped the matter (thereby admitting Maher was right).

Orangutans (as per Wikipedia) are the two exclusively Asian species of extant great apes... native to Indonesia and Malaysia". Zimbabwe is located in Southern Africa. My guess is that Donald Trump's was born in either Indonesia or Malaysia, then emigrated to Zimbabwe and later the United States. After marrying a human woman (Mary Anne Trump née MacLeod) with whom he fathered a human-orangutan hybrid they named Donald John.

Although Wikipedia notes that Frederick "Fred" Christ Trump was born in NY and his parents were born in Germany. The answer to this discrepancy? Obviously Fred Trump is not Donald's natural father. Maybe he believed he was (Mary Anne Trump fooled him into thinking Donald was his progeny) or maybe he conspired with his wife to hide Donald's true parentage.

In any case, the point is that, having been born in Zimbabwe, Trump is not eligible to serve as US president. Barack Obama, regardless of where he was born, served 2 full terms. However, while Barack Obama produced his Hawaiian birth certificate, Donald Trump has not. He (I believe) has thus far only released the short form and not the long form of his BC. Which, as you will recall, was not good enough when Obama did the same.

OBVIOUSLY Trump is not eligible. I mean, he is not even fully human! Surely I believe we can assume that the Founders intended only a 100% fully human individual to be eligible. That is in addition to being natural born and 35 years old (as per Article 2 of the US Constitution). Note that the Constitution uses the word "person", which dictionary.com defines as "a human being".

So, I think that Trump could be removed from office for not being a person (or fully a person) and for not being natural born. That's in addition to his wife Melania being a Russian spy (DSB #63).

DSB #65


  1. I looked through the Constitution and nowhere does it say that the president has to be human. In fact, I didn't see anywhere that it says any citizen has to be human. Having an Orangutan father may not disqualify him.

    My dog is over 18 in "human" years. Perhaps I can get him registered to vote.

  2. The Constitution says the president has to be a person. The dictionary defines a person as a human. As for years old, the age requirement is 35. In actual years, not equivalent years. So, no dogs. Even if the human requirement wasn't in there.

  3. Linked to by the blog troll Luke the Puke, as I suspected he probably would. On his blog, now dedicated to lies about me.

    Jerry gets the joke, but Luke thinks the post is serious. That, or he thinks it makes me look bad when he lies about humorous posts. When doing so actually only makes him look stupid.

  4. Hey Dervish,

    Just got back in town a couple of days ago. On my first attempt, I couldn't figure out how to enable publishing dates on blog comments. I'll figure it out one of these days. I replied to you on What the Hell Just Happened?

    On a side note, I noticed that Sue has closed her blog to uninvited readers. In the hopes of reading her again, I found Malcolm Bondon, the guy with a now defunct music trivia blog and also many podcasts of good music from the 60s, 70s and 80s. Malcolm was in touch with Sue and forwarded my message. He dropped me a nice email, but Sue never got back to me.


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